Raising teens can put a strain on a relationship in ways we don’t think about. Mom’s are often going through their own hormonal shifts as their daughters ride the estrogen roller coaster. Mom’s are beginning to see gray hairs, wrinkles and feel a glimmer of “OMG! I’m turning into my….MOTHER!” while their perky daughter attract guys like bees to the blossoms. It’s a part of parenting we rarely talk about, but hey, IT’S THERE! Dad’s have their own emotional hoops to jump through as young men begin courting their daughters. Dad’s realize they aren’t the strapping young bucks they used to be. Add these emotional blips to differences in parenting styles, years of being together and perhaps a stale relationship and you’ve got breeding grounds for one of you saying, “I want out!” I beg you to reconsider.
Your daughter needs you now. The teen years are really tough. If you divorce she has that trauma to deal with. I urge you to seek counseling to see if you can save your marriage. If you understand some of the dynamics going on, you might have a chance to breathe life back into your relationship. Remember you once loved your spouse enough to marry them. What needs to change in order for you to find that spark again?
The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. Sure, there are a million people on Match. com but blending a family at mid-life isn’t easy. It may be harder than flaming the flames back into your marriage.
Of course, if your marriage is abusive, you may need to exit. I’m just saying, don’t let the mid years of your life, juxtaposed next to the youth of your daughter’s life, get in the way of working on salvaging your marriage.
I have taken enormous pride in my work and sacrifice as a mother to my four children. I have made many mistakes, as we all have. I regret deeply not being able to salvage my own marriage so many years ago. This is one time when I ask you to do as I say, not do as I did!
Need to talk about your relationship? I’m a great listener.
Hang in there. Get counseling. Get more if the it doesn’t work right away. Keep talking, listening and loving each other as best as you can.