Casual Sex Not Harmful

A new study claims casual sex isn’t emotionally harmful. I disagree. Here’s why:

When I interviewed hundreds of guys from around the world for my book, The Secret Guys Wish You Knew About Love,  28 percent of them claimed they felt remorse, or even depressed, after giving away their virginity to the wrong girl. Yes, you read it right. Some guys actually care about their virginity.  The casual sex they had certainly wasn’t emotionally healthy for them!

Girls tell me they often use casual sex as a way to try to win a guys heart. After a dozen or so encounters, the girls have to ask the “Dreaded Question,” other wise known as DTR: “Determining the Relationship.” Girls who want a committed relationship often find themselves hurt when the guys they have been hooking up with doesn’t want any commitment.

Can casual sex be harmless? Perhaps, if both parties know exactly what they are doing, know their are no hidden agenda’s and it is a mutual exchange of pleasure and no one will get labeled afterwards.  But how many teens are mature enough to handle all of that and how does a girl avoid being labeled?  I have talked to thousands of teens over the years. In fact, one of the most pressing issue for teen girls is sex. They are terribly confused about the topic. The media and our culture tells them that to be lovable they have to be hot, sexy, and know how to tease and please. It doesn’t encourage our girls to explore the depths of who they are as people and to bring forth their  innate goodness.

I have been in the trenches with teens for over a decade. I have heard the stories of the negative results of hooking up. I’m not buying the study that says casual sex isn’t emotionally harmful. For some teens, can be very emotionally damaging.